Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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