i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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