We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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