I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
