I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
