1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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