All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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