GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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