this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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