im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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