Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
