Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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