So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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