please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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