Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize