I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
