8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
