ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
