I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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