that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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