Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
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Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
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He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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