I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.