I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
My liver just had a heart attack.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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