I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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