we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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