You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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