i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
