I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
