She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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