just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
