how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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