Jerry, you need to find god
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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