he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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