i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
