would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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