if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
