Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
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