how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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