it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
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I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
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Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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