I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
