the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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