The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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