if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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