i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
