Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
