break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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