How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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