hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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