walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
