I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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