Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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