Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
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We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
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How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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