Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
