You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
