My first STD was from a foam party
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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