you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Randomize
