i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
People with herpes should wear stickers.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Are we still banned from the library?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
