i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
