you mean i was at the winter classic?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
