i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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