why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
No...this little piggys going to the bar
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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