too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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